Where do I start with telling my story,well I could start at the beginning
to give an overview of my life. I was raised in smallmidwest town usa and
was your typical small town good girl. Well I gave off the appearance to
the grown ups that I was good but most of the guys who knew me knew the
truth that I was a fun time when you got me warmed up. Which happend quite
often when I was in high school. I lost my virginity when I was fifteen to
the captain of the football team and have never really looked back or felt
like I should have waited. I played sports also and was quite good at all I
tried earning letters in basketball,softball and track. I did enjoy living
in the small town most of the time with your weekend parties and making
love down by the river with my current guy love intrest. I earned a sports
scholarship in softball to a division one school and left home to go to the
big city. I hit the party scene running with both legs and earned a
reputation as a girl you wanted to party with. This went on for a few
months and I was having the time of my life but then reality set in and I
had to cut back or flunk out of school.

My second semester I was moved to a different dorm with a new roomate
(Tina) who was older than me and played on the softball team. She really
helped me grow up and understand that I could still party but needed to
learn some moderation. I learned from some of the other girls on the team
that Tina was bisexual but at the time it did not intrest me at all to
think of women in a sexual way. As time went on though and I would see her
walking though the room in just her tshirt or laying on her bed in a towl
after a shower. My brain started to compute that I was attracted to her but
I would not let it out in anyway for fear of what might happen. I started
masterbating while thinking about Tina when I went home and was away from
her for any time but again would not let my feelings show. April 14 2002
was a turning point in my life that really changed how I looked at the
world. I had pulled a muscle in my back playing ball and it made bending
over to do anything very painful. Shaving my legs was almost impossible
because no matter how I sat my back would hurt while I was in the shower. I
was in the shower trying to get my legs shaved before I went out with a few
of the girls to a local club for the night when my foot slipped in the
shower and I let out yell of pain as I hit the shower floor. Tina came
running in the shower and found me laying on the shower floor crying from
the pain. Tina dropped the towl she had around her and sat down on the
shower floor beside holding me in her arms telling me everything was
ok. Tina lovingly kissed my forehead and told me she would hold me until I
could get up out of the shower. When she kissed my forehead it sent a chill
and a shiver through my body that made me pull closer to Tina.

Tina held me close for a minute then moved her lips down to my lips and
kissed them gently and softly. I offered no resistance and at that moment I
was totally hers. We kissed for what seemed like forever,very slow and very
soft. Tina looked me in the eye and ask me if i was ready for more and I
kissed her again to let her know I was her to do with what she wanted. Tina
helped me up and took me to my bed,she dried me off like a little child
then laid me down on the bed. Tina then made love to my like no other
person had ever done or ever will do I suspect. I came so many time my
belly hurt after it was done. We lay there in each others arm all night
after hour love session. Tina and I became a friends with benefits type
thing after that where we made love at few times a month. Tina enjoyed
setting my up with both boys and girls after that but she always sceduled
some alone for us when she felt the need.

I next learned how much fun an older lady could be when I took a partime
job at an office not far from the campus. I did several jobs including
secretary,gopher and being checked out by one of the female supervisors on
my floor. I was still 19 and Laura was in her late thirties but still very
sexy.. I caught her checking me out more than once and played the a flirt
game with her for about a month. It was early November that year and I had
been working late doing some filing for extra cash when I noticed that it
was just Laura and at work. I could feel her hungry eyes looking at me when
I heard her ask me to come into her office for a something. I was wearing a
busness skirt and a button down top that day and felt I looked good. When I
came into her office she ask me to close the door even though no one was
there at the office. I sat down in a chair accross from her where she ask
me if she could be blunt with a question. I told her sure and she point
blank told me how much she wanted me. I made a statment that I was
flattered and that I thought she was pretty also. Hearing these words gave
her the go sign and she got up came over to my chair. She then took my hand
and led me to her couch that was in her room. She was talking to me telling
me how much she wanted me all the while my clothes were leaving my body. In
what seemed like no time she had me naked in her office. She laid me down
on the couch and started kissing my mouth then worked her way down my
body. She really took her time working her way down so by the time she got
to my wetness I was driping with juices. When she touched my clit with her
Tounge I exploded with a huge orgasm that was the first of many that night.
When she was done eating my juices and making me cum several times she
stopped and walked over to her desk. I thought she was done but was I ever
wrong. She reached into a drawer and pulled out this strap-on that appeared
huge. I tried to protest but she just said she would let me know when she
was done with me. She got on me and started fucking me missionary style for
what seemed like forever. She then made get up and bend over and started to
fuck me doggie. I told her I was about cummed out so she put a good amount
of lube on the strap-on and inside me before giving me another good
fucking. I finally passed out from exaustion before she stopped with me.
She then got a blanket out of her closet and told me to take a nap on her
couch. I gladly accepted and fell into a deep sleep very quickly.  Before I
fell asleep Laura told me she had to leave but would see me tommorow. I
told her I would grab a quick nap then go back home. I woke up several
hours later and started to get dressed where I found that my panties were
gone. Laura had kept them for herself as a trophy and this would not be the
last set of panties I would lose to this sexually agressive lady.

My ex and I haven't talked for about a month or so. I'm dying slowly inside because I never really got closure and it's killing me. I have been talking to this new girl and she's probably the sweetest person I have ever meant, but it's not something I  can pusue because I am still so in love with my ex. I don't know how to get over her, she broke my heart and decided not to have anything to do with me. She is leaving for the military in a couple of months and I am afraid I won't hear from her before then. My best friend thinks I need to get closure from her somehow...that I need to find a way to talk to her and see why she left me like she did....(did she leave because it's easier for her to say goodbye...because she can't love someone again before she goes? Or was she pretending the whole time?) I am hiring a photographer to take pictures of our home town and things she enjoys doing...like soccer and bowling and I was going to put them in a small 12 pages album so she can take it with her when she leaves...just so she can look back at home every once in a while. I was going to give it to her best friend and ask her to give it to her for me and I thought about leaving a small "good luck" note inside it as well...just so I respect her enough not to have to see her before she leaves (if that's what she wants or decides) Now I'm starting to think that my best friend is right...I can't date another girl if this one leaves me with my heart broken again. I need some kind of closure...something...anything. I thought about showing up at her work but I don't know. I'm afraid that I will never want to date another girl again if it's not her. I don't want judgments past about this but I feel as though if she leaves me completely clueless, I will have to put my dating girls days in the past because...I don't want another girl to touch me. I miss having her in my life more than anything and it's torturing me. She was the first one to grab my hand, the first one to kiss me, the first one to tell me she loves me...and I don't know her reasoning for letting me go so easily. I found out this past week some bad news about my health...it worries me that maybe she will never see/hear from me again if we don't say what we need to now. I might not be here when she gets back. I don't want to tell her this though, because I don't want guilt to be the reason she talks to me or keeps me in her life in any way. I'm just sooo lost I need some kind of advice...someone to tell me what they think I should do. Should I just let her leave, or should I try talking to her somehow before she does? Most people would say the picture thing is dumb to do because it's just putting myself out there...but I don't care, I want her to know that I care about her...even if that's the last thing she thinks of me before she leaves, at least she knows I really do care and hope the best for her future and her journies. Please help. :/